Recruitment Consultancies

I HAVE to get this off my chest before I absolutely implode in anger... To cut a very long (and tedious) story short, I left my last recruitment job due to stress (I was the only person in the office 99% of the time as it was only myself and my boss there and he was cavorting at meetings and the tight bastards wouldn't employ anyone else......) I was lucky enough to inherit a little money from my Granny so I cut my losses and resigned as I figured that life really is too short to wake up and have a panic attack every morning at the thought of going into work... (As an aside, one such 'highlight' from this role, was a pissed tramp coming in to register for work at 9am - he stank of booze and his CV was a piece of paper with 'CV' written on it - nothing else. He had no phone or email so even if I did have work for someone with 2 letters as their employment history, I wouldn't have been able to contact him anyway.. He wouldn't leave the office when I asked him to so had to get one of the guys upstairs to forcibly remove him.. That's kinda why I was so stressed out, as days like this were turning into weeks).

Whilst I'm still OK for money (although not quite at Tamara Ecclestone's level yet - no £1,000,000 crystal bathtubs in this household sadly), work is kind of important for sanity and boredom levels and so I decided to register with all the rec agencies I could in order to obtain some gainful employment. This is where it gets interesting.. (or not, depending on your viewpoint). I'm not going to name names but fuck me with a rusty fire tong - some of these people are not just inept but downright rude and incompetent. No wonder recruitment gets such a bad name.

One interview with an agency lasted 10 minutes. She photocopied my ID, said 'your CV is brilliant' and then that was it. No in depth study of what I'm looking for, not even bothering to ask me what interviews I've had recently to gain leads. Nada. I email her every week saying I am still available but she DOESN'T EVEN EXTEND ME THE COURTESY OF RESPONDING TO MY EMAILS. Another woman at another agency said that she has a sales role: 'Are you used to working to targets?' Er, yes, I pointed out, if you look at my CV you will see over 15 years' sales and 5 years' recruitment experience. 'OK' was her response. 4 weeks ago she said my CV was going to her client - not a dickie bird since. I know how desperately busy recruitment is but I always used to reply to and update with candidates even if it was just a quick 'nothing this week, will call you if anything comes in, please keep in touch'. I simply cannot believe these people. Half of them keep ringing me about field sales roles despite knowing that I don't drive and some even tell me about jobs in Windsor, Aylesbury and Maidstone. Fab BUT I DON'T WANT TO COMMUTE TO ANY OF THOSE FUCKING PLACES. & don't get me started on some of the job ads around. Seemingly none of them have a clue about age legislation that means that words like 'dynamic' and 'youthful' are illegal. & I could be very rich indeed if I had a pound for every time I read 'must have a good telephone MANOR'. Yes, if you want a telesales job you must have a large house storing telephones. WTF???? You may think these are the ramblings of a bored, unemployed numpty, and, in part, you would be right, but these agencies leave a LOT to be desired. I am off now to apply for a floor licking job at minimum wage....